Archive for December, 2011

A Writing Project

So today I came across a ten day writing project on Fetlife in a friend’s group. I actually love the idea and I’ve decided to blog it. I may start it today or tomorrow. I’ll include the list of what to write each day. I’ll take it with 10 Day Writing Project on each post. If you want to join in on the fun then feel free, but no cheating. After all this is for fun right?

 

Day 1: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

Day 2: Nine things about yourself.

Day 3: Eight ways to win your heart.

Day 4: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day 5: Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day 6: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

Day 7: Four turn offs

Day 8: Three turn ons

Day 9: Two images that describe your life right now and why.

Day 10: One confession

Wow…

So I’ve just realized that this is my 200th post! That’s huge! Though I think I should have been here a long time ago!! Just saying. So in the time that I’ve been writing this blog, there have been many things going on. Lots of perverted things, nice pervy stories, a look into my life, and many times where I just dropped off the face of the world. The year is now coming to an end, and things keep going. That’s the best thing about life, it doesn’t stop just because you’re in a shitty mood. It doesn’t stop just because you’re depressed or sad, instead it keeps going. I’m going to be writing a lot more here in the future and hopefully in the new year. I want to thank each and every one of you for reading, and I hope that you continue to read. Not only for the perverted things, but for the other things as well.

 

As most of you know my life has taken a very different turn. There have been all kinds of things going on, and while I wish the drama would just stop, well life has a weird way of not letting that happen. However I’m still here and I’m not planning on going anywhere any time soon.

 

I love you all and I’ll see you soon!!

xoxo

Snow

The Cold Hard Truth

So there’s been a lot of things going on lately with me, and thankfully I’ve been blessed enough to have my friends surround me and remind me that it’s going to be okay. While talking to a friend today I realized something. Perhaps it was the rant about his ex, perhaps it was the music I was listening to at the time… or maybe, just maybe it was there all along and I’m just now realizing it to be truth. So here are some thoughts and things I realized today.

 

I’m nobody’s fool and I’ll be damned if I let someone make me out to be theirs. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit, to be lied to and used. I didn’t do anything wrong, in fact you making me feel like I wasn’t good enough was fucking wrong. I’m not the one that cheated. I didn’t lie to you and I didn’t try to make myself out to be something I wasn’t. The fact of the matter is it’s you that did those things, and I have nothing to be sorry about. I wasn’t the one that said things that I knew I wasn’t going to keep. I didn’t promise you things that were never going to happen.

 

I’m the one that took care of you, sexually and non sexually. I’m the one that made your meals, did your laundry and worshiped the ground that you walked on. I was the one that did everything you said without question. The one that wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. I’m the one that loved you and trusted you when you weren’t worth it. I was the one that gave you a place to live, that got you everything you wanted and needed. I’m the one that ran you around in MY car, wasted my time, and would have done anything for you to just be happy.

 

I hope you’re happy with you’re whore. While we’re on that topic does she do all those things that I did? Take care of you, get you something when you want it, pay for everything, do your laundry, put up with your bullshit? Does she believe your lies too? Does she do that thing in bed you like? Lick you in that place that I did, you know the one that made you whimper and want more? Does she do that other thing I used to do? Lets be honest about it, you probably haven’t even told her about those things. Pretty pathetic when you can’t tell the person you “love” about those things, but then again… I was the person you loved not too long ago right?

 

I hope that you’re happy, and I hope that you live forever. I hope that each and every day you see me around and realize what you lost. Trust me you WILL realize what you lost, and when that day comes I’ll be there, if only in your mind, to smile and taunt you. There was a time, not too long ago, where I’d have done anything to be back in your arms. Where I would have welcomed you back, no questions asked, and kept playing pretend with you. However that time has come and gone, and won’t be coming back any time soon. I’m fairly certain it will never come back, you see once you do the things you’ve done and I realize what I’m worth it seems to work like that.

 

I’m better off without you. My children are better off without you, and honestly they deserve better than you too. Don’t think that you will see my children, because I can promise you that will not happen. You made your choice and there is nothing that’s going to change that. You will NEVER hear my child utter the word Daddy when it comes to you… hell you’re barely even a Father… I tend to think of you more as a sperm donor. I’m tired of your bullshit and if you want to hunt, well then darlin hunt away, but I promise you this. You won’t find me or my kids, and as long as there is a breath in my body you will not see or touch anything that is in my family. My kids are mine, not yours… it doesn’t matter that you helped to make life with me. You’ve given up that right and I’ll make sure of that legally as well.

 

To all the exes out there reading this: I want you to know that you were never worth the tears, agony, and energy that was put into you. You aren’t worth the heartache and honestly you’re not worth another moment of time. You are nothing and you will continue to be nothing. I will never again sit there and be a party to your bullshit, your games, or your drama.  I deserve to be treated like a Queen. I deserve a man that is going to go out and do for his family, to provide for his family not sit on his ass while he waits for the world to come to him. I deserve all the smiles and happiness in the world, and that’s something I know you will never give to me. I’m done with your lies and I’m done allowing you to make me think I’m not good enough. The bottom line of it is YOU are the one that’s not good enough. To be frank about it I feel sorry for you, but please live forever. See me be happy every day and then think about it everything you’ve done has been worth it, because I promise you this…. it’s more than worth it for me. Each time you see me smile I hope it cuts you deeper than my knife ever could… knowing that this time I’m really happy and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

 

I could dedicate countless songs to you, but I’m done wasting songs on you. This is my final goodbye. Enjoy the life you’ve made for yourself. You made your bed when you cleared up mine… I’m going to live it up for my kids and for me.

 

Daddy Daughter Day

My mind is constantly thinking, always thinking about something. It’s almost like it never turns off, especially when I think about Daddy. I get the strangest feelings when I think about him or talk to him. It’s like my mind goes into overload. I think about when he’ll come for me. The things that might happen, what he will do to me, how he’ll make me feel, but above all how he’ll make me obey his every word and whim.  My thought process might seem a bit strange at first, well okay it’s always a bit strange, but these are some of the things I think about when I think about Daddy coming for me.

 

I want Daddy to show up at the strangest time. To completely surprise me in a way unlike anyone else has been able to. I want him to smile that wicked smile as he grabs a handful of my hair and pulls my head back. Then Daddy’s lips roughly grab at mine, kissing me hard. He makes it very clear the things in his mind without a word spoken. His kiss takes everything from me, leaving me in his grasp weak and small. I look up at him knowing my place but unable to move. I’m at Daddy’s mercy.  He smiles looking down at me though we’re both standing, the charm on my collar catching his eye. He smiles a sincere smile, one that excites me to no end and brings a pride to me unlike any other. Daddy’s fingers slip into the collar making it even tighter against my neck; I gasp for breath but know I’m safe. He pulls on the collar and starts walking leaving me no choice but to follow him, which I do with pride in my eyes and step. Daddy leads me around and into the house, giving just a moment to show off his pet to the neighbors. This always makes me blush and does so now, but still I follow. Down the stairs we go, step by step. The door opens and Daddy, ever the gentleman, shows me inside before closing and locking the door behind him.

 

Daddy has me right where he wants me, alone in the basement, wearing approved clothing. I blush up at him before my eyes meet the floor. He seems so big and he leaves me feeling very small, yet I love every moment of it. His first words hit my ears causing me to blush again, remembering what is to come. “Good girl, you’ve set up things nicely…” He pauses a moment, his finger under my chin raising my eyes to meet his. “Perhaps I shall reward you later.” The goose bumps glaze over my skin faster than the stars come out at night and I shiver at his words. Daddy just chuckles and walks to the table in the middle of the room, leaving me there until my feet remember to move and I follow closely behind him.

 

I’ve known all along that Daddy has set up a game, though my mind has no idea what’s in store for me. Daddy gets the books and starts me on a character. I work diligently, stopping only to answer the door for our guests, and then go back to working. When all is said and done I have created the perfect character, I proudly show Daddy. He smiles that smile that lets me know I’ve done well. “That’s good little one” he whispers into my ear. The game starts and I realize I’m in for an interesting time. Of all our guests I am the only female, as my character is the only female. Daddy pulls out a book and I whimper. A book of games and sex; at this very moment I know I am on board for a very long and interesting night. After hours that seem like days the game finally ends. I’ve been tortured and used, and I’m quite sure Daddy knows my pussy is dripping wet. I do my duties and Daddy and I say our goodbyes to our guests.

 

Once we’re alone I know Daddy will either reward or punish me. My mind races with possibilities. Have I done well or have I done wrong? Will Daddy be proud or upset? Will he spank me? My face turns a deep red while I think about Daddy grabbing me, throwing me over his lap, and then the feel of his hand on my bare ass, the way he stings my flesh with just one swat and makes me count each and every blow. “Kitten?” His voice jars me from my thoughts and I jump looking up at him. “Wandering mind again little one?” I blush and nod, my eyes falling to the floor.

 

Again Daddy’s fingers slip up under my collar, he pulls me toward the bed and I whimper. Daddy pushes me down and grins at me. He stands high above me, my body quivers as his eyes take in what lies before him. I whimper as Daddy sits next to me pulling me into his lap, his fingers stroke my hair and tangle easily. He grins pulling lightly to sit me up, “Stand” he orders and I quickly obey. “Strip Kitten,” he smiles. Again I quickly obey. My hips turning to the song that plays in my mind. My eyes meet with his, my hands roaming up my sides to play lightly in my hair. I gasp softly as I feel Daddy’s hand slap my hip, a smile spreading across my face. My fingers hook under my shirt and I grin pulling it slowly up my body before taking it off and throwing it in Daddy’s direction. However Daddy’s patience grows thin and he grabs me by the waist. I whimper as Daddy rips what’s left of my jeans from my body, this one motion leaving me naked in his arms. “Good girl…” he mutters as his lips lock on my left nipple. I mew sinking into Daddy’s embrace, my body going completely limp. Daddy growls around my nipple and throws me onto the bed.

Awake and Alive

Good morning my lovely readers! I know I’ve been really shitty on posting to the blog, but well dramaful bullshit… What are you gonna do? I’m going to try my best to keep this updated again, on the regular. Today though is a new day, and there’s always something to get into. So I thought I’d give you a song this morning, yes with lyrics too! Skillet’s Awake and Alive. This song has so many meanings to me. I’m never again going to let someone pull me from where I know I’m meant to be. Just another day in the life of Snow right? *smirks* Enjoy the song and more to come later!!

 

I’m at war with the world
And they try to pull me into the dark
I struggle to find my faith
As I’m slipping from your arms

It’s getting harder to stay awake
And my strength is fading fast
You breathe into me at last

I’m awake, I’m alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it’s my time
I’ll do what I want ’cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I’m awake, and I’m alive

I’m at war with the world
‘Cause I ain’t never gonna sell my soul
I’ve already made up my mind
No matter what, I can’t be bought or sold

When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again

I’m awake, I’m alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it’s my time
I’ll do what I want ’cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I’m awake, and I’m alive

Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up in the dark

I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms, I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you

I’m awake, I’m alive
Now I know what I believe inside
Now it’s my time
I’ll do what I want ’cause this is my life

(Here, right now)
Right here, right now
Stand my ground and never back down
I know what I believe inside
I’m awake, and I’m alive

Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up
Waking up, waking up

Thoughts and Realizations

So today I was sitting in the car with some new and old friends. We had a moment of hell and we were just getting back home. So I had the music on and zoned out for a few minutes. Thankfully when I do this I can still drive, somehow. That’s not the point though. The point is this…. Hinder was playing, the song Without You. There’s been a lot going on in the last week. I found out some shit about the dude I was seeing, found out a lot about me and my future, and it’s got me all thinking about well everything. So Heidi is sitting in the car, my son, Heidi’s boyfriend, and my ex and best girl of all time. The song is playing and I just zoned out thinking about everything with my ex and the shit going on right now. Then it was like all of a sudden everything opened up and I could see it all. It was just one of those moments I guess.

 

All of the things I’ve done. The people I’ve been with… The things I’ve seen… all of them no matter good or bad… and I cried over Les? Really?!? I’m sorta thinking WTF have I done?? I was asked what was wrong and if I was alright, this that and the other, but honestly I just wanted a nice hard slap across the face.

 

What do I realize now? I realize that Les and I weren’t meant to be together. I realize that no matter what I think and feel in my heart it won’t EVER matter. It’s not that I’m not good enough, it’s that I’m too good. Too good to let myself end up hurt, too good to let myself be drug down… and too good to end up spending another second crying. I’ve got my friends, I’ve got my kids, and I’ve got a hell of a road to go down. Everyone that’s been worried about me… ya’ll don’t gotta worry. I’mma be alright. One step at a time, and soon enough it’s gonna be forever away. We’re good now, and I’m gonna make sure it stays that way.

 

I might post this to my blog. I’m not totally sure yet, but I guess we’ll see. Ciao for now, love you all, and sorry for worrying anyone. *giggles*

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