The Cold Hard Truth

{ December 16, 2011 @ 11:46 pm } · { Daily Life }
{ Tags: asshats, boyfriend, boyfriends, bullshit, child, crew, drama, ex boyfriends, experience, Family, friends, games, happy, haters, homies, knowing that the ones that matter are the best part of your day, lies, life, Men..., no, pathetic, realizations, realizing that he's not worth the tears drama or other bullshit that he's put you through, realizing what you lost once it's gone and that you'll never again get it back, sad, Snow, submissive, the cold hard truth, time, upset, worthless }

So there’s been a lot of things going on lately with me, and thankfully I’ve been blessed enough to have my friends surround me and remind me that it’s going to be okay. While talking to a friend today I realized something. Perhaps it was the rant about his ex, perhaps it was the music I was listening to at the time… or maybe, just maybe it was there all along and I’m just now realizing it to be truth. So here are some thoughts and things I realized today.

 

I’m nobody’s fool and I’ll be damned if I let someone make me out to be theirs. I don’t deserve to be treated like shit, to be lied to and used. I didn’t do anything wrong, in fact you making me feel like I wasn’t good enough was fucking wrong. I’m not the one that cheated. I didn’t lie to you and I didn’t try to make myself out to be something I wasn’t. The fact of the matter is it’s you that did those things, and I have nothing to be sorry about. I wasn’t the one that said things that I knew I wasn’t going to keep. I didn’t promise you things that were never going to happen.

 

I’m the one that took care of you, sexually and non sexually. I’m the one that made your meals, did your laundry and worshiped the ground that you walked on. I was the one that did everything you said without question. The one that wanted nothing more than for you to be happy. I’m the one that loved you and trusted you when you weren’t worth it. I was the one that gave you a place to live, that got you everything you wanted and needed. I’m the one that ran you around in MY car, wasted my time, and would have done anything for you to just be happy.

 

I hope you’re happy with you’re whore. While we’re on that topic does she do all those things that I did? Take care of you, get you something when you want it, pay for everything, do your laundry, put up with your bullshit? Does she believe your lies too? Does she do that thing in bed you like? Lick you in that place that I did, you know the one that made you whimper and want more? Does she do that other thing I used to do? Lets be honest about it, you probably haven’t even told her about those things. Pretty pathetic when you can’t tell the person you “love” about those things, but then again… I was the person you loved not too long ago right?

 

I hope that you’re happy, and I hope that you live forever. I hope that each and every day you see me around and realize what you lost. Trust me you WILL realize what you lost, and when that day comes I’ll be there, if only in your mind, to smile and taunt you. There was a time, not too long ago, where I’d have done anything to be back in your arms. Where I would have welcomed you back, no questions asked, and kept playing pretend with you. However that time has come and gone, and won’t be coming back any time soon. I’m fairly certain it will never come back, you see once you do the things you’ve done and I realize what I’m worth it seems to work like that.

 

I’m better off without you. My children are better off without you, and honestly they deserve better than you too. Don’t think that you will see my children, because I can promise you that will not happen. You made your choice and there is nothing that’s going to change that. You will NEVER hear my child utter the word Daddy when it comes to you… hell you’re barely even a Father… I tend to think of you more as a sperm donor. I’m tired of your bullshit and if you want to hunt, well then darlin hunt away, but I promise you this. You won’t find me or my kids, and as long as there is a breath in my body you will not see or touch anything that is in my family. My kids are mine, not yours… it doesn’t matter that you helped to make life with me. You’ve given up that right and I’ll make sure of that legally as well.

 

To all the exes out there reading this: I want you to know that you were never worth the tears, agony, and energy that was put into you. You aren’t worth the heartache and honestly you’re not worth another moment of time. You are nothing and you will continue to be nothing. I will never again sit there and be a party to your bullshit, your games, or your drama.  I deserve to be treated like a Queen. I deserve a man that is going to go out and do for his family, to provide for his family not sit on his ass while he waits for the world to come to him. I deserve all the smiles and happiness in the world, and that’s something I know you will never give to me. I’m done with your lies and I’m done allowing you to make me think I’m not good enough. The bottom line of it is YOU are the one that’s not good enough. To be frank about it I feel sorry for you, but please live forever. See me be happy every day and then think about it everything you’ve done has been worth it, because I promise you this…. it’s more than worth it for me. Each time you see me smile I hope it cuts you deeper than my knife ever could… knowing that this time I’m really happy and there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

 

I could dedicate countless songs to you, but I’m done wasting songs on you. This is my final goodbye. Enjoy the life you’ve made for yourself. You made your bed when you cleared up mine… I’m going to live it up for my kids and for me.