I’m Not Real??

So lately I’ve been talking to this “dom”. I say it that way for various reasons, and they will become clear as I write this. So just bear with me. Now we have only talked because he lives out of state, but he does travel quite a bit, which also brings him to Ohio through the year. So I decided ok, give it a chance and see what might happen.

Red Flag One: He’s married, and his wife doesn’t know. I was called out on the fact I felt uneasy with this because I had told him before I’d slept with married men. One of my play partners IS a married man, however he is poly and I’m pretty sure his wife AND girlfriend know he’s doing whatever and that he comes over.

Red Flag Two: When I started talking to him it was under the premise that he would be submissive and I Domme roles. To which he’s very quickly reversed around since he found out more about my different sides.

Red Flag Three: Today I get an email demanding a task from me, and asked about anal and fisting. Now I have NEVER done fisting, as I like to stay pretty tight. I take pride in that. Sorry, just not going to happen. I also haven’t done anal since I had to go through my cancer surgery. Mostly because when I do I tense up and get these horrid pains that cause me to black out. So I tell him no fisting, and I don’t do anal anymore for health/safety reasons.

So he replies that perhaps I’m not kinky enough for him. To which I calmly replied that being kinky enough isn’t the issue. The issue is I will not EVER risk my health and safety for anyone. My limits are mine, and mine alone. If that’s an issue perhaps we shouldn’t bother to meet up when he’ll be in town this coming week. I get ANOTHER email back from him after this, saying that real subs have no limits. I promptly told him to just fuck right the hell off.

I seriously thought we were over the era of creepy dom and all the bullshit that he has to offer, though it seems I have been mistaken. Then I had another thought…. what about the submissives, male and female, that don’t know how to deal with creepy dom or his counterpart creepy domme? It makes me really sad honestly.

Then there’s another part to all of this. I know damn well WHO and WHAT I am. I am Luci Snow, and I AM a switch. I have countless amounts of fun as both a Domme, and a submissive. I also happen to be a little girl and a middle. These things I would not trade for the world! I am deserving of amazing things, and no way in hell is something amazing going to ask me to drop my limits or compromise my health, safety, or my well being. I am better than that.

Why I’m going Viking – and why you should too

I really enjoyed this article, and I think you all might just like it too!!

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Source: Why I’m going Viking – and why you should too

A Fantasy of a Dream

This morning I woke up, desperately trying to get back to sleep. The dream I had been having came to an end all too soon, and it was so vivid I woke up feeling the sensations of each and every aspect.


He sent a text with an address, telling me to meet him there and I smiled typing it into my GPS. I knew the area of town, but not the actual place I was going. I pulled into the parking lot and checked my makeup, another text came in “when you  come in tell them you’re with Team Darren”. I tilted my head, his name was Mike, why go with Team Darren? I shrugged and went into the building.

Inside it was almost dark, I had to let my eyes adjust. My heels clicked against the cobbled stones in the entrance hall, my fingers dragging against the harsh brick of the wall. I was almost floating with excitement towards the dim lights. I stopped and smiled telling the host who I was there for, and then followed as I was lead to my date. He looked amazing in a casual business type of outfit. His shirt was a soft blue, his pants  black, and every detail completely perfect. I smiled again, blushing even as the smell of the jazz club started to float into my senses. The dim light had a warm glow about it that almost kissed my skin, adding to the excitement, the smells of lavender, jasmine, and liquor came to me in a mix of desire, passion, and lust. There was a band on a stage in the corner, the sounds of the sax slowly making its  way up my spine and tickling my ears softly, seeping into my body, making my hips slowly sway as I walk.

He smiles, standing to kiss me, and offering me a seat at our table. The chairs are raised up and swivel around, this makes the little in me giggle with ideas of dangling toes and childish games, but there is no little, at least not for now. Tonight is all about the bigs, and the things we will do together. Mike orders me a drink and the host rushes off leaving us alone. He asks if I found the place alright, and I nod still looking around trying to take it all in. This is NOT what I expected to say the least. As we make small talk and sip our drinks I notice that the walls are a wooden beige color with wooden accent pieces stained a cherry oak, the contrast making a flair of statement along  with the added golden metal pieces that adorned the walls. The over all feel and look of the space adding a classy feel to the soulful club. Looking up I realize the ceiling is a rafter ceiling, also the stained cherry oak, with sheer golden fabric hanging down, the glow of light catching it in all the right places. He went all out for me tonight, and I purr turning my attention back to him.

We talk, and decide to unplug completely from the outside world after a photo together. I spin my chair a bit closer to him, our faces only inches from touching, I can smell him. He smells divine and it’s intoxicating; for a moment I feel his lips almost brush against mine, but no, not yet. He pulls me closer, my legs drape over his. He rests his hand on my knee and strokes slowly, my body feels like it’s on fire. A fire spreading from his fingertips over every single part of me. It branches out from his touch, and his touch alone can put that fire to rest. The seduction he’s planned out tonight, has ripped over every inch of me, and we snap the photo. With the photo goes away any contact from the outside world, and we start to explore the adventure of one another, the people in the club slowly fading away until it is just he and I. We become high on each other, the music pushing and pulling us closer together, our bodies entwining, no fusing together.

A song starts to play, and he smiles kissing me. His lips, oh his lips taste like cherries and Gran Patron, completely erasing any doubt in my  mind  about him. His arm wrapped around my waist and he led me to the dance floor then took me against him. He held me in ways I didn’t know were possible, his finger tips lightly kissing my skin as he led me around the floor.


And then I woke up. It was so real, like we were there…. and I sighed wishing it wasn’t a dream, and I could go back and live in that moment forever.

I Want…

I want to go upstairs, run a bath, and when I’m bent over to turn off the water once it’s filled, someone to come up behind me…

his fingertips caressing my spine then his hands resting on my hips pulling me back onto him…

his cock slowly splitting open my cunt, and feeling the tight wet warmth
and then having his way with me over and over until both of us are so damn tired we can barely crawl to the bed and curl up…

but once there, he covers us with a blanket, shoves his cock back into my cunt that he’s claimed as his and we fall asleep.

The Bastard Children

So I woke up to a text from Puppy about she would be a Sand if she were a Game of Thrones bastard child, as which I would be a Snow. Snow Snow, gotta love it eh? Or Luci Snow, as my name on Fetlife already states *grins*. Anyways she said she wasn’t sure WHAT the West Bastards are called, and well me being me I had to look up all the Bastard Children Names in Game of Thrones.

The Reach: Flowers
The Westlands: Hill
Iron Islands: Pyke
The Riverlands: Rivers
Dorne (the south): Sand
The North: Snow
The Vale of Arryn: Stone
The Stormlands: Storm
The Crownlands: Waters

Also bastard Targaryen children are Blackfyre.

So now you all know too! *giggles*

What I Want in a Man

I used to think I had an idea person, though everything I thought I knew has gone out the window. I adore long hair, I really like guys that wear makeup and I love facial hair. So that’s a start I guess. Oh I also don’t date anyone that’s my own age. I guess that’s probably superficial, but I like older men.

I want something real, something that both parties are going to benefit from and enjoy. I want to enjoy and be enjoyed. It’s not only about play or sex, but it’s a connection, and the connection that brings everything together correctly.

I want someone that turns me on in ways I never imagined, that not only can make my blood warm and pussy wet, but make my mind start to fire so quickly that the very thought of that person is enough to make me a puddle of goo. I want to share experiences with someone, and grow in was I never thought were going to happen both on a kinky level and a normal one.

So WET

So I was talking to a Dom friend earlier about various turn ons, and things that I really want to do this year, and I’m SO fucking horny it’s not even funny! He at one point told me to excuse myself and give myself 10 firm swats to the cunt, which I did and I was so damn wet I had to dry my hand TWICE! I keep thinking about all the kinky things I want to accomplish this year, and while those very thoughts are enough to make me wet, telling them to him, and having him react just turn me on SO very much more. Then there is the thought of maybe sharing a few of these experiences with him, and I turn to goo. While I was slapping my cunt the last slap was so hard my knees almost buckled. While I COULD say what all these things to come are here, some are better left for private conversation. Though I’ll share a short list of things I want this year.

 

To go to a glory hole

to go to an adult theatre

a mmf threesome

to be someone’s key holder

my own cuck

an orgy

more rope AND suspension

more photo shoots

abduction pics and vid and play

a “brother” for a weekend of naughty delight

to explore something unknown

my kinky dinner party

sex in a hot tub

to learn to give a foot job

Pure Snow

So a few days ago I was talking to a friend, and he said I was strong. I haven’t been feeling too strong lately, I feel very small and weak honestly. I had the chance to be submissive again, to serve, and be a good girl… and I feel like I blew it. I was talking to someone that wanted to date me and ended up on a phone call for an hour after I texted him… with his girlfriend. I’ve been highly depressed between the end of last year and the start of this year. I lost someone I was deeply in love with, and it tore my whole world apart. So it really isn’t a good time for me, and I certainly don’t feel strong by any means of the word. Then I got on facebook and saw a post from like five years ago.

“I’ve carried a child within my body,slept with a baby on my chest.I’ve kissed boo boos and mended broken hearts.I’ve been puked on peed on, and spent sleepless nights in the rocking chair. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. My body isn’t magazine perfect, but when I look in the mirror, I see a MOM, and there is no greater honor or blessing!! “

It’s one of those re-post if you agree type of things, but it made me honestly stop and think about something. Yes I’m fat, and I’m nowhere NEAR perfect. I get undressed, alone and in front of others, and I wonder who would find it attractive at times. I’m getting older, I’m stubborn, and I have my issues as  everyone does… but  I have done things in life that some never have the chance to do, one being motherhood. I have carried a living being inside of my body, I’ve slept with a baby on my chest, I have kissed thousands of boo boos and tried to the very best of my ability to mend broken hearts over and over. I’ve been puked on, peed on, pooped on, and bled on. I’ve had millions of tears shed over various parts of my skin. I’ve gone countless nights without sleep, I’ve lived weeks with worry and doubt making a lifetime. I’ve been the reason that someone smiles and wakes up. I have helped countless situations, and I’ve survived cancer. I have been a good girl, and I’m STILL HERE. I may not feel very strong, but I am. It’s not the end of me, and tomorrow won’t be either. It’s going to be okay… and while it may seem like it won’t ever get better, and I’m going to be filled with stress, anxiety, panic and depression until I finally die… that’s not the case. The case is I am strong, and I’ll make it come hell or high water. I may not be perfect by any means, but I may just be perfectly what someone is looking for.

Goodbye Dearest King

Today I woke up with a smile, though it was ever so briefly. I logged onto the computer to check emails and saw that the Goblin King has gone. As a little girl I remember watching The Labyrinth for the first time and falling head over heels in love with a villain. The Goblin King was something that would stay in my heart forever, and start a great love affair with music and different forms of life. So when I heard the news that David had passed yesterday, the little girl in me still so much in love with a man died a little bit.

Born in London as David Jones on January 8th 1947 he started and grew to become, David Bowie. Bowie was so much more than a musician or an actor, even more than an artist or an icon. He  lived life on HIS terms, by his rules, and never once apologized for it. I have nothing but respect to live your life that way. To live 69 years, seemingly without regrets and on your terms is something that deserves some serious respect. David Bowie didn’t give a damn what anyone thought, and it worked very well for him during his years, both early and after returning to the public eye.

So I have been doing today, as I’m sure many fans have been, listening to the good times in song and  curling up with my own little girl to watch Labyrinth, which is also her favorite movie. I can see the way she looks at the Goblin King and doesn’t care that he’s a “bad  boy”, but loves him with his own charms anyway. That’s what we all have done right? Loved someone without a care about the flaws, just loving them more. A fan does that, yes there are bad times in someone’s career and life, but you love the person no matter what. To me, it wasn’t just about the music or the films, it was about the lesson that you learned by watching the way David Bowie lived his life, without saying he was sorry, because it was all on his terms, and life isn’t to be scripted by the public eye, or anyone else for that matter.

There is a cover of Pink Floyd’s Comfortably Numb done by both David Bowie and David Gilmour. With the first spoken word tears will come to your eyes, for a completely new reason, especially after today. Paired with the fact that Bowie wanted to leave us with a parting gift, his last album, Blackstar, the lyrics to the song are hauntingly familiar and yet in a way try to bring some type of closure and comfort to the fans that adored the man that was not only “The Goblin King” to many little girls, but to the man that always will be, David Bowie.

Goodbye my friend, my mentor in life lessons, and the man that captured this little girl’s heart so many years ago. You will be gravely missed, and life won’t be the same. We are absolute beginners and we absolutely love you.

 

David Bowie The Goblin KingDavid Robert Jones (David Bowie)

January 8th, 1947 – January 10th, 2016 (69 years)

Thoughts and a Brief Note to Sir…

So I’ve been debating for a while if I should even write this, but I guess I probably should, and somewhere deep down maybe I hope it’s going to help. To help whom is really the million dollar question though. So I met a Dom and we were seeing what would happen, and it seemed to be a pretty good thing. He and I thought the same about a lot of things, so it was a damn good match up honestly, at least in my mind. We had one meeting and a session and I was given a set of tasks. However, life seems to get in the way… as it always does. Things haven’t been the best for him, and I completely understand that. He told me he had to let me go, because the things going on he doesn’t think he can give me the things that I need too. We still talk, and honestly I adore talking to him just as much now as before. But I’m honestly worried about him. I know a few things here and there, but I know something’s wrong, and while I don’t expect him to tell me everything going on, I do want to be there for him. Is that completely fucked up? Am I just losing my mind?

 

Part of me feels like I’ve done something wrong. Like I wasn’t good enough. I guess that’s the parts of my past that haunt me and the outlook I tend to have on myself. My mind makes me wonder if yeah he’s going through a lot, but maybe I didn’t try hard enough or I wasn’t a good enough girl. I know, my mind is fucked up, but bear with me. It also fucks with me in the way that everything happened but he saw me, without the shyness or the worry… and then I was let go. I don’t mean to make it sound like I don’t believe him, or that I’m blaming him. Honestly I am blaming me. I’ve told him as much too, and he tells me it’s not like that. The scary part is I DO believe him, but my mind still doesn’t want to let me hear the words that it isn’t me, but life getting in the way. Sometimes I hate my mind…

But I’m getting off track. The point is I’m worried about him. I try to text him and let him know I’m here, and that I’m going to be here… because well that’s what friends do, and I’d like to have at least that with him. All of the things I have been through I worry a lot about what could or couldn’t be wrong, and the small glance at knowing him I got, he’s a really great guy. I don’t like knowing something’s wrong, and not being able to fix it. I guess that’s just who I am. So if you’re reading this, know that what I say to you in messages isn’t for show. I really do care, and I want to be there for you. If not as a submissive than as a friend. I’ve been through a lot in my life, and while I’m still dealing with a lot, maybe I can help. Maybe I can just listen if you want to scream. I know when I was told about having cancer I didn’t want to talk to anyone, to tell them, but it didn’t make it go away… it just made it harder.

xoxo

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