Online Relationships

Online relationships. We’ve all had them and we all know that there are some things that are kind of known, but never really talked about.

 

Every person in the world wants something; most of the people in the world want someone to love. Something special and meaningful; with the world getting more and more technical we’re seeming to turn to the internet for things more and more. However that means that we’re also looking for love and closeness online as well. One in two relationships are started online. That’s the way the world has evolved in this day and age, however, there are some things where this isn’t the best case. We’ve all been there. We meet someone in a chat room and they catch our eye. We have a chat with them and then we chat more and more. We seem to click and connect on a level that we haven’t with others. However, the problem seems to be that this person doesn’t live close to us. Maybe they live in another town, another state, sometimes even another country; still though we keep this relationship going. We develop feelings for that person and we start a very long distance online relationship. You say you’re dating this person and then you “fall in love” with this person that nine times out of ten you’ve never met face to face. This isn’t totally impossible, and it happens time and time again.

 

You and this person seem to have it all except that closeness that you need. That touch, that kiss, and that cuddle. You make up for this in other ways. You think you have something that no one else has, and you swear you’re going to meet. However, you don’t. You plan it, but something comes up, or you just can’t afford to go see the person or life gets in your way, but you still love this person and want to be with them. You keep it going online. But there is a problem with this. Humans ARE pack animals. We need that touch, kiss, and feel. We need to be close to the people that we love, we need all types of interaction, and that can’t be done just online, however we keep trying with this online person because they love us, we love them, and it really will work out. Let’s face the facts though. If you don’t meet that person you really don’t KNOW that person. When you can’t be around someone, and get to know that person on a level that can’t be reached between computers you tend to fill in the gaps. You make up all these amazing things about the other person, and YOU make them as amazing as you see them. You make them that one person that’s perfect, but in reality NO ONE is perfect. NO ONE. If there were perfect people then why would we need that person online? The best thing is, that person online can just walk away from the computer, just like you can. You have a fight? Well walk away and just don’t talk. You control the interaction that you have with that person and by now you’ve made up all these things that either aren’t true at all, or are VERY far from true. Then it happens.

 

The person doesn’t come online. You keep looking. You send some emails and try to figure out what’s going on. That person that you have this amazing relationship with isn’t there and you wonder what you’ve done wrong. Finally you get an answer. They’ve found someone else; someone real. You beg to make it okay and make it all better, but the truth is. You never really had this person. When you have a relationship online you only have that person when you’re WITH the person. When you’re talking online it’s all good and amazing as long as you’re there and that person is there, but when you turn off the computers, you go to bed. You’re still all alone. You’ve never actually had that person. In a way you’ve made it all up. It’s hard to admit that, but we have all been there. My advice? If you’re going to meet someone online stick to the rules. Don’t make it this huge relationship when you can’t really have one in the first place. Perhaps I’ll write up some “online dating rules” for future reference; if you want anyway. I wanted to write this, because well it’s something that we’ve all been through. It’s something that everyone, at one time or another, has had to deal with. It’s something I too have been through, and I didn’t realize it at first. So maybe by writing this someone might get to realize it as well. To everyone out there with that serious online relationship… Good Luck. I’m sure you’ll need it, but remember what I’ve said.

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