Sweet Love, So Pure

Sweet love, sweet love trapped in your love.

 I’ve opened up, unsure I can trust, my heart and I were buried in dust…

free me, free us.

You’re all I need when I’m holding you tight.

If you walk away I will suffer tonight…

 

I found a man I can trust, and boy I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can you see that I’m bound in chains?

I’ve finally found my way, I am bound to you.

I am bound to you.

 

So much, so young I’ve faced on my own

walls I built up became my home.

I’m strong and I’m sure there’s a fire in us.

sweet love, so pure

I catch my breath with just one beating heart, and I embrace myself,

Please don’t tear this apart.

 

I found a man I can trust and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

I’ve finally found my way, I am bound to you.

I am bound to…

 

Suddenly the moment’s here, I embrace my fears.

All that I have been carrying all of these years.

Do I risk it all?

Come this far just to fall?

Fall….

 

I can trust and boy, I believe in us.

I am terrified to love for the first time.

Can’t you see that I’m bound in chains?

And finally found my way, I am bound to you.

I am, ooh, I am…

I’m bound to you.

 

 

 

The words above are from the song Bound to You written and performed by Christina Aguilera. The song appeared in the movie Burlesque. Why am I putting it here and not just leaving it at that? There’s a very good reason for this. This song makes me smile and cry, makes my heart skip a beat, and make me realize so much what someone means to me. In the past year I’ve taken the time for myself, a time that I greatly needed to think and decide what I want in life, and what I’ll do with my life. I devoted time to school, work, and to my daughter; every waking moment actually. In that time I found what I truly want in life, and in what I thought I’d long since given up on. I want a home, people that I love and that love me. I want to be in love with someone for the rest of my life and be a family with that person, have that man’s children, and know that every day they are my home and the only place I’d want to go after a day of work. That is what a home is to me, the people I love, and the people that love me.

 

So what does this have to do with the lyrics above? Well they’re me, in a nut shell. I’ve been so beaten and abused. Thought I gave up on actually loving someone and being in love. I’ve locked myself away, detached myself from emotions, all to save myself from hurt, or well more hurt in life, and now I found someone. I’m not totally head over heels in love, but I do love him very much. He makes me smile, and I hope that I in turn make him smile. I want nothing more than to curl up in his arms and just talk the night away, or just be with one another not saying a word but totally understanding what the other is thinking/saying. One word from him turns my day from bleak into a day of pure wow.

 

I’ve got my baggage and my issues, everyone does, but he accepts them. I’m working on everything I’ve had to carry around for so long, dealing with these little issues, and he’s patient with me and tries to understand as much as he can. I’m slowly tearing the walls down inside me that I kept close and lived within. Slowly shedding away the limits so that one day I can be utterly in love with him; if he’s reading this I hope he smiles, even if just a little. I feel as if I’m drawn to him, bound to him, and that this is just right. It feels like it’s all just right and meant to be in a way.

 

I’ve come this far, and made it through most of the things I’ve been faced with. Do I risk it all? Have I come this far just to fall, to fail? Well I will risk it all, all the emotional things that I can in order to be with him. I don’t think this time falling with be a bad thing, I think that this time I’ll be alright because it’ll all work out. What if it doesn’t? What if I’m wrong? Well then I’m wrong, and there’s nothing I can do to change that. While I don’t think I’ll end up hurt this time I’ll sum what’s in my head up with this… I would rather do this and end up hurt than always wonder what if and hurt so much more.  I am a woman that loves a man, and smiles every day that I know I’m in his mind, and I hope he knows he’s in mine often.

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