Worthless Me

So okay yeah… I’m worthless. I’m also stupid, fat, and ugly. I know these things. I also know that I’m never going to be happy. I’m a depressed piece of shit that cries all the time and wants too many things. I don’t KNOW how to be normal. I don’t know how to smile and be happy and have a great fucking life. I’m a loser and a shitty parent. There’s nothing more I want than to be in his arms, and that’s too much to ask. It’s too much to ask for a smile or a reason to feel good. Too much to want anything that is out of my league. I’m deserving of unhappiness, depression, and death.

 

I want nothing more to be happy, but I don’t deserve it. I want to be in love and have my other half love me more than everything in the sky, but I’m unlovable. I fantasize about being married and having a family, but those things I’m not worthy of.

 

Just a glimpse into my mind. The way it works. I’m immature, stupid, lazy, fat, worthless, and so many other things. Maybe one day I won’t be, but I seriously doubt that day will ever come. Guess that just means I sit here crying night after night, alone.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: